So as you get older there are some benefits. You gain some serenity, relatively speaking. A more easily attained contentment. Tranquility. At the very least the ability to convincingly feign an insouciant air. YMMV.
In any case it's apparent that your added stability comes with a cost. More stability seems to mean you feel less wild excitement, or singing hysteria. A continuation of how your feelings change about Christmas, or your birthday. Increased control precludes uncontrollable feeling.
So recently I've been particularly resistant to childish excitement, particularly of the whooping-and-jumping-around kind (with a few girl-related exceptions). This year might be different though.
1. From a career point of view I've levelled up, if you like (+15HP, +1 INT, +1d6 damage). Got some heavy new 5kiLL5 and further control over what I do.
2. Added to that is the real inspiration on Doing Big Things from the relentlessly unpleasant Danieru.
So in two days I'm off for 5 weeks to visit Tokyo, London and New York, and decide what to do next.
I have contract work until September. I've abandoned the wildly ambitious plans for my flat, and decided to make it merely rentable. My anvil weight of material possessions is getting eBayed.
I have options. And for the first time in ages I am actually fairly excited.