Just thought you might want to see what happens when you invite the Daily Show's Stephen Colbert to give a speech at the annual Whitehouse Correspondents' Dinner.
A scathing, barely polite rant delivered – astonishingly – straight to the president's face.
I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. And not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers, and rubble, and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message: that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world.
We went to see the sacrilicious Jerry Springer: The Opera last night (cheers Stu for tickets). Very funny, as you'd hope with writing by chuckleminer Stewart Lee.
Some exquisitely Producers moments (notably the tap dancing Klan).
Also springtime for TF with an updated theme, Barthelme. Focus on clarity, and finally back to a fluid layout. Some nice new features too (check the live previews when writing comments).
Ah, sweet myspace.
So you get a random message from some account. Female! Bonus.
Sensible skepticism, probably either spam or some kind of sockpuppet. But hold on, in this case it's just random enough to be genuine. Let's have a look at Helin:
Mail exchange follows.
—————– Original Message —————–
Date: Apr 16, 2006 2:23 PM
how are you
may i please ask what size is your foot and what colour is your sock
Whoa! Bizarre. Absolutely cannot not reply to this one. Surely some naked pics on the cards. Or something. Here we go: Continue reading
Definitely in the Top 3 Most Unexpected Events on this lovely sunny Friday… had a shower with Mike Skinner of The Streets.
The southern poet himself (skinheided and skinny), Calvin (over-toned) and their minder-personal-trainer (massive yorkshireman) were giving themselves a pummelling (stomach crunches) in the same gym as me before their soundcheck this afternoon.
Mikey (charmingly "Michael" to his pals) doesn't seem the most relaxed of boys, so being quite fond of the wee monkey I decided not to increase his jumpiness by randoming in with the naked Scotsman chat.
This is a quick post-London update. Got back this evening and have just finished web/email/letters catchup in time to get some energon.
The main news is that I lost my mobile (the grizzled P900) on Friday night, largely due to cousin-fiance-induced excess. The good news is that I am replacing it with a frankly bonkers 3G Pocket PC and I get to keep my number.
When the new one is up and running I will ask you nicely to text me with your details so I can replenish my contacts. Oh and weekend report to follow.
What can 335k buy you, boys and girls?
A two bedroom flat in west London.. Or this.
Bit of a long commute, but a crazy thought.
This is in my top 5 favourite text messages received. From CJ at 23.22, simply:
I'm fruck X
Which I think – very succinctly – both expresses and demonstrates extreme drunkenness at the same time.
As those gay lads sang. Some really nice socials this week.
Now that the regulation two years have passed me old IBM bud Dave Draper came back to visit with the lovely Megan. While I worked away my daylight hours for The Man out west, they did the Edinburghy things including the Castle ("I'm not paying ten pounds for that"), Scottish Parliament ("an eyesore"), the Scott Monument (good), Mary's Back Alley (I have no idea, probably procured in Leith) and lots of general wandering.
So with pummelled feet the first evening was kicked back with drinks and catching up on the old names, laughing at their misfortunes, adventures, marriages, divorces, weight loss, weight gain and implausible career moves.
Then last night got home, got smart and got fired into cocktails at Oloroso again. They're currently unbeatable for the tasty wet stuff without Poor Quality Disco Lighting or overloud muzak. Then strode purposefully down to Atrium as promised to meet Duncan and Claire.
Capsule review: Atrium is awesome.
Starter: goggling in stark disbelief I teased apart my pigeon sausage, loaded the fork with foie gras, mouthed it reverently and found myself loving every gamey darkmeat shitehawk mouthful.
Main: herb crusted loin of lamb with some other stuff that doesn't really matter. This was God's Own Lamb. In a Holy Spirit jus.
Dessert: a six-part cheeseboard. Made with cheese. On an actual board.
After the colossal spoiling we received in this sacred place the busy decor of Le Monde was just that. And despite the friendly staff their cocktails sucked the big one.
More eating and drinking like this please.
So going out to play isn't always about getting loaded, taking hunners of drugs, blowing your muck in some random girl's hair, ear, eye, friend, mum (delete as inappropriate) then spending Sunday in a self inflicted coma, right?
Indeed, no. So we live in an awesome city with lots to offer the discerning punter, and with the light nights drawing in, tis time to get up to some weekday shenanigans that won't guarantee you another sick day the morning after. So alls we need is some suggestions, yes? Here goes:
• Dinner at Martin Wishart. Surprisingly, the only restaurant in Edinburgh to have been awarded a Michelin star. Amazing rep. I'd love to go.
• Lunch at the Plaisir Du Chocolat salon. Have you tasted their chocolate? It comes wrapped up like a Tiffany diamond in the best packaging i've ever seen. Has to be experienced. Lots of bank holidays in May. We should check it out.
• Cocktails at Oloroso. Aaron and I were there v. recently. Both very impressed. We ended up eating too, because i'm small and insignificant when it comes to four units in one glass. Drinks wise, they have absolutely everything. We had these martini type things with balsamic vinegar. Yummmy. They have an awesome balcony too.
• Scotsman Screenings. This is one of Air's. Looks awesome. Very reasonably priced too, I thought.
Now it's your turn. Come out to play.
Many moons ago – for your reading pleasure – I linked to the luverly script for James Cameron's Avatar. Well blow me if it isn't finally going ahead, along with bonkers anime adaption Battle Angel Alita. Good news all round.