Monthly Archives: March 2003

monday funnies

Couldn’t resist this one.

Osama/Saddam (55k image)

It’s one of many top-class posters from those kerazy funsters at The Whitehouse, worth checking out.

On another note, this is an absolute gem. It’s a sports equipment retailer in the US, for the disabled and wheelchair-bound. You won’t believe what they’ve named their budget model.


There’s this girl.. her name is Rachel. And over the past month or so, I’ve really begun to fancy her rotten.. there’s just something about her, completely aside from the fact that she’s drop dead gorgeous.. Yadda yadda. But we haven’t been able to take things any further, because, well.. its been complicated. She’s got a girlfriend. Or at least, she did, until last week, when she told her that she’d fallen out of love with her..

And in 1hr 58 mins we’re going on a date.

And i’m shitting myself


mair glasgow humour

Bit more original than the usual pish.

NEWSFLASH: Earthquake hits Glasgow


Victims could be seen wandering aimlessly muttering, “Ah wiz shitin’ masel’”, “Ah need some jellies”. The earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage.

Untold disruption and distress was caused:

- Many were woken well before their giro arrived;
Continue reading

no, *this* is what really annoys me

What *really* annoys me about the invasion is the false propaganda, and wilful misinterpretation of events. In every case unsubstantiated spin is immediately regurgitated by tedium-dodging 24hr news channels and the slavering tabloids.

How about our brave British boys ‘executed’ in cold blood by the Iraqi barbarians? Whose families were then told the truth by the platoon sergeants and subsequently attacked the government’s outrageous reaction, forcing a retraction?

Or Geoff Hoon announcing the “categorical” proof that Iraq was going to use chemical weapons? Which turned out to be the discovery of some NBC protective suits? And was forced to backtrack again?

This favourite phrase heard again and again: “If any further proof were needed that Saddam’s regime are evil and despicable then this [new sliver of desperate propaganda] proves it”. The sheer dishonesty is breathtaking. You cunts.
Continue reading

think of a number

Just a brief one. Doing all kinds of shift work now… moving into a 24hr support phase so not so many nights out for a while : /

Note to authors regarding double entries (ouch). If greymatter looks like it has hung when submitting an entry or comment, try opening another browser and checking if the content has appeared. Generally it will have, so you can close the original (non-responding) window.

And finally, guaranteed to do your head in comprehensively – the Flash Mind Reader. When you work it out let me know, took me ages.

the postcard entry part deux

Well hello there ladies and germs,

I’m having a great time sleeping 16hrs a day, getting drunk in the sun, and generally doing what makes me happy. Its all good, you gotta love the holidays.. Been watching the 24hr war comentary, which is all a bit morose. Am I the only one that got really emotional firstly, when they started bombing, and secondly when they paraded those POW’s on live TV? That’s the real meaning of reality television. Couldn’t sleep at night for thinking about it.

Glad to hear our Alex is still mad as a bag of laughing carrots..

And I have a new mobile telephone, the number of which I will update you with, v. soon.

Going to Barcelona in a fortnight, if my friends get their fingers out of their respective arses. Just for the weekend. Should be dead cheap.. fingers crossed. You’re all more than welcome to join us. I’d love to see y’awl. And what better venue?

Well, there is Edinburgh..

Hope you’re all fine. Take care.

-j. x

the postcard entry

Ok i’m living somewhere called Tooting, Tooting, Tooting……..the name’s lost all meaning now.

Working for disabled hippies which is thoroughly amusing.

Hope the weather’s still nice Ed.

Al x

war, death, bulldozers

Liked this US-Iraq article from Richard Dawkins, questioning the reasons for war (again) but making the point how can such a great country end up with such an irresponsible leader?

You might have seen in the news recently that a bulldozer operated by the Israeli defence force ran over and killed a protester from the US. What was noteworthy was the absolute lack of reaction by the US – had any of the neighbouring countries been responsible you can be sure they’d be dodging bombs by now.

Some chuckles in that the ‘dozer ran over the protester and then reversed for a second go. Not quite so funny when you see the pictures though.


Former LEMONHEADS frontman EVAN DANDO has jeopardised his rock rebirth after he launched a expletive-filled tirade against US president GEORGE W BUSHat an instore promotional gig in LONDON last night (March 19).

Dando was performing an acoustic gig at HMV Oxford Circus to launch his new album ‘Baby I’m Bored’, when he said he wanted to “cut (Bush)’s dick off and shove it up his arse.”

His tirade ran: “Fuck George W Bush in the mouth and up the arse, then cut his dick off and shove it up his arse, then shove it up his God’s arse. I hate that motherfucker, I love my country. That guy is trying to kill all of us. Fuck George Bush in the cunt.”
Continue reading